uhhuhhim (uhhuhhim1) wrote in semihorrible,

Sandra Lee Exposed!!!

It's the photo Sandra Lee never wanted you to see!  To the left is a picture Sandra Lee hoped would never see the light of day, but I've found it.  Today, Sandra Lee is exposed!  This was a picture Sandra Lee took of herself before going to a Halloween party in 2000.  After taking the photo, the drunk woman scanned it onto her her computer, dubbing herself a "Cool Whip Queen."  She was so drunk that she began pointing out her faults and labeling them.  Highlights from this picture include:

Cool Whip Crown - Made from hardened Cool Whip
Cool Whip Paint - Cool Whip plastered walls
Sagging Tits - Apparently, she has pet names for her tits, which are:  Ringo  (right)   and Chi Chi Rodriguez (left)
Glass eye - She thinks this is a compass
Anorexia - Exposed or visible bones
Botox Damage - She can no longer frown as a result of taking the plunge
Neck Waddle - This is Lee's official G-Spot
Donkey Ears - She believes these act as a telephone system
Shit Stain - It's so close to her nose because she likes to smell it
Bathroom towel - She thought it would make a good window curtain
Adam's Apple - Proof that Lee may very well be a man underneath it all
Kiss Marks - Lee was so drunk that she began kissing the wall because she thought it was another person.  How vain!
Dog Turd - Lee pointed out one of her favorite snacks, which she believed were Hershey's kisses.
Tablecloth - The dress is a used tablecloth
Bedspread - This is her supero cape
Cotton candy - She couldn't afford pillow fluff, so she used Cotton candy instead
Butterscotch wrappers - Apparently, she thought these sparkled better than sequins.
Genie Bottle - Lee believes this is her second home in Los Angeles
Urine Stain - I guess she had an accident?
Fake Leather Bag - This was purchased at a Dollar General in La Crosse, WI
Cockroach - These can also be found in her laundry hamper

I contacted Ms. Lee about this photo after emailing it to her.  Her response was:  "That's not me, that's Daryl Hannah."  To further    the lies, she said:  "That is my twin sister, Daryl Hannah, not me."

Oh, Sandy - You've been exposed.  Deal with it!
Tags: parodies
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